As originally reported at UnconfirmedSources.com, Levi Johnston must be a very lucky bastard.  Who is that and Why you ask?

Well Levi Johnston is the shelp who got Sarah Palin’s teenage daughter Bristol pregnant.  You know, the daughter of the current Alaska state governor and recently announced VP running mate to Presidential candidate John McCain. (CNN Story)

So why is he lucky? Well according to UnconfirmedSources.com…

1) Your future mother-in-law is a certified abstience counselor and you made her look pretty silly about 2 days after it had been announced she was running for VP and you’re still living…

2) Your future father-in-law Todd Palin is a champion “snow machine” racer / oil worker and commercial salmon fisherman who probably knows a thing or two about a) guns and b) places you could dump a body and never ever EVER find it and you’re still living….

3) The Alaskan State Troopers know how to handle rough men and definitely a no-name hockey player.  After Sarah is sent packing back to Alaska in November, I’m guessing you might find yourself in some handcuffs in a back of a squad car.  Hopefully you’re still living you lucky bastard…

wild boar hunting

This guy is no doubt a lucky bastard. Why you might ask? Because he has friends that are great shots. If this lucky bastard didn’t have his friends nearby he would either be in the emergency room or the morgue. Check the video to see what I mean.

Republished from UPI.com

Talk about a lucky bastard.  A mistake in his usual lottery ticket numbers proved lucky for an Indiana man who won $3 million in the Hoosier Lottery.

When he realized he had gotten one number wrong, Bobby Guffey of Roaknoke returned to the Econoasis in Huntington and bought another ticket with the right numbers, the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette reported. That one was lucky too — winning him $1,000 for having five of six correct numbers.

“My wife says it pays to be blind,” Guffey said during a news conference Thursday at the Indiana State Fair.

The Guffeys took their winnings in a $1.2 million lump sum. Janice Guffey said she and her husband plan to continue working, although they will pay off their mortgage and take a cruise to Hawaii along with setting up trust funds for their children and grandchildren.

“Christmas will be a lot nicer,” she said.

There is no way to maintain the integrity of this website and not mention the name Michael Phelps.  If you don’t know who Michael Phelps is well, you have either been living in a cave for the past week or have just returned from an alien abduction (if so, I’d like to discuss a feature story for this site).  Anyhow, Michael Phelps is the lucky bastard swimmer from the United States who has just won 8 gold medals in a single Olympic game and now has 14 gold medals in his career.   I know that this feat represents a lot of hard work and a unbelievable commitment to the sport but still…

Chris Chase from yahoo.com has written some remarkable facts about Phelps.  I have updated Chris’s story as of Monday morning August 18.

1) If Michael Phelps were a country he would be tied with the entire country of RUSSIA for gold medal count.

2) In the overall medal count,  he would be tied in 16th place with the country of Romania.

3) India, Pakistan, Nigeria, Egypt, Mexico and Bangladesh (appx. combined population = 2 billion) have earned a total of four Olympic medals in Beijing. Phelps (appx. population = 1) has eight.

Even Phelps himself has hinted that he might be a lucky bastard:

“Everything had to go perfect. Everything had to fall perfectly into place and I was able to have probably the best week of my life.”

There is no “probably” about it Michael.  That was the best week of your life, you lucky bastard.

Tell me this guy isn’t a lucky bastard .  Aaron and Marie Jarry, from Connecticut, won $5000 on Howard Stern’s “Hottest Wife, Ugliest Guy” competition held this past summer.  I didn’t watch the episode but apparently according to The Smoking Gun, Marie was employed as a second grade schoolteacher.  I say “was” because after their appearance on the controversial show, she was fired for violating the school’s “morality clause”.  And to boot, she also might have to pay back the school the pay she took when calling in “sick”.  Opps.  So he may be a very lucky bastard, but apparently, she isn’t.